07/19/2015 13:57

Summer, sunscreen and self-awareness

I will never know how individudals maintain a daily blog. I attribute it to others being better writers and being able to make the most mundane of all topics sound interesting.  I have a rather unique skill in this area by my ability to reduce the most exciting event to boring sound bites that cause most to roll their eyes within minutes.  Thus, I try to wait for a really "over the top" issue or moment to share, but alas, our life does not seem to carve out any award winning moments, rather lazy days that roll into one another.  We are in our second month of summer.  I have reverted to late mornings and the black under my eyes is slowly whitening.  "S" has taken swimming lessons and is now pursuing the art of diving without the belly punch.  Seeking a pool is a daily hunt, but friends have been most generous and some public pools fill in the gap.  We took one road trip to Dallas and I finally braved the fear of the unknown roads for a two day visit with a wonderful friend in Avinger, Texas within an "Enchanted Forest."  "S" has become a wonderful traveling buddy even within kid less homes and we will be putting that trial to a test in two weeks when we visit our families in Massachusetts.  It will be a formidable challenge to balance some kid friendly activities within the three year "catch-up" with family members who expect total focus and attention.  When we return and I am "talked out" and probably needing a vacation from the vacation, we will skate into the next year of school with the purchase of new clothes, new supplies and an anticipation of part anxiety and part excitement.  This marks my seventh summer with "S".  I have totally forgotten that my retirement was supposed to be endless summers strung together with limitless opportunities and primarily "adult" entertainment.  I maneuver between avenues of occasional lunches with retirees who view my life as one they are thrilled to have in their past to young mothers who cannot imagine a life beyond the chaos of children.  My body is a continual reminder that I have constraints and limitations to the physical aspects of raising "S" and my mind which is a jumble of "old ways" and imbedded beliefs already conflict with her desires.,  As she gets older as counted by our summers together, she gets more independent.  I get older and more dependent.  So far, these months have been a lovely break from the routine and schedules, but the lull and peace is only temporary within my constant thoughts of the impending future......





Garden Ridge, Texas