Nothing in common
I often wonder if parents see their childhood within their own child, Do they create the same memories, do they create the same environment as their own parents did, did they engage in the same activities.? At least there is some sort of blueprint to follow if your childhood was one you wish to emulate. By the very nature that I grew up in an age titled the "the age of conformity" but lived within a chaotic home that was filled with ambiguity, I am on my own to trailblaze the rearing of this child. I lived with absolutely no structure unlike one would imagine from the shows like "Leave it to Beaver" or "Father knows best" where life was as consistent and predictable as June and Ward could make it. In a mild mannered tone, they discussed the concerns or issues regarding Beaver and his brother Wally and resolutions were always pleasant, respectful and unanimous. June was the perfect housewife and Ward was the always loving husband. My house was always loud, my parents bantered whenever they spoke and they dealt with offspring issues with "Expectations." If you did not do what was told, you simply suffered the consequences. My siblings and I were never questioned about where we were, who we were with or what we were doing. We were "expected" to behave or "face the music" so to speak. Fast forward 60 or so years to the "age of technology" and you can see why this approach would not work. I cannot use the same parenting style as my parents and quite frankly do not wish to, but adapting to the times makes me wary and constantly on a swinging learning curve. I look at "S' and wonder each day if I am creating a bubble from which she will be ill prepared to face the dragons around each corner. "S" lives within a structure that I never knew as a child, but I am not sure that it will provide her with the resistance and fortitude to tackle the unexpected. "S" lives within an environment closer to June and Ward in the fifties, but must eventually deal with the trials within the 21st century. I hope all this loving and problem-solving approach equips her for the chaos that I learned to live with when I was her age!
Garden Ridge, Texas