Friends after grandchild
Friendships are not supposed to come and go, but the physical nature (contact) of the friendship can change shape with a dramatic life change of at least one of the parties. Of course that change would be with me and the drop in birth of a nine month old granddaugther I refer to as "S". However if one is open to new relationships, they will come. At first I was not interested in becoming a new friend to anyone. Being a miliary wife, I had already had my quota of friends that evolved from knowing my innermost thoughts to the occassional e-mail. The process of friendship development is as complex as dating without the expectation of bedroom antics. It begins with a coincidental bump, casual conversation, spark of similarity and a promise for future contact. Like a building, dug from the ground up, so is the strong friendship. Mounds of give and take conversations, listening, advising, sharing, and supporting provides the foundation that will withstand torrential rain, low scaled earthquakes and a mild hurricane. It seems that "S" was more like a tornado and my "BS" (before S) friends were carried away with the power of baby disruption. As I lay in wake in city parks contemplating S's next dangerous move on a slide or in front of a swing, women with the same tense expressions began to speak. The first assumption is that I am generously donating a few hours to care for my little rambler. The intrigue comes with the admittance of raising this child by choice. Questions ensue primarily regarding her "real" parents, and I avoid most of those answers with three word replies, "not able at this time", "very complicated" and similar phrases. After we get beyond the demographics of my situation, we begin to talk about "our" children and the bond is sealed. Not everyone has been eager to hang out with granny, but S is such a fantastic playmate that she is in demand by fellow toddlers. Of course, I come along with this package so have become popular through association. These young women, some younger then my own children are the source of my adult to adult chit chat, support, and common interests. They have challenged me to go beyond my box and accompany them to places that I abandoned for a more serene and safe lifestyle. You can find me at water parks with screaming teenagers, jumpy houses with bouncy toddlers, or driving downtown in frightening traffic to an inner city museum. I have graduated from a recluse, held in captive by a baby to a socialite of the toddler kind and it is only by the grace of these women that this occurred. I thank them from the bottom of my heart for seeing beyond my wrinkles and 20th century ideas to the mother I have once again become....
Garden Ridge, Texas